When my alarm woke me up the next morning I was shocked. That hasn't happened for about two years! Where is Finley? I sit up in my bed and look around. As if I'm going to find my son on my bedroom floor or something. I get out of my bed and tip toe over to Finley's room, just in case he's still sleeping. When I see him sitting on his bed my heart breaks. Finley has his legs crossed with the toy guitar on his lap. His head is bowed down and he keeps flicking the pretend guitar strings. Finley looks so sad it makes me want to cry. I slowly walk into his room but he doesn't even look up.
"Finley?"
His head slowly looks up to me and he catches my breath. He's been crying! And I've been sleeping! I quickly walk and sit beside him on the bed. My arms wrap around him and I smooth his hair with my hand.
"What's the matter Finley?"
He snuffles a little so I give him a little kiss on top of his hair.
"My daddy is gone."
Oh my god! My poor little baby boy. He thinks Jax has gone for good. I won't let that happen. Now that they have found each other they will never lose one another. That's my mission for keeping them apart for nearly four years. I scoot away from Finley a little and place my hands on either side of his face.
"No baby he's not gone."
"I went downstairs and daddy gone mummy."
His voice breaks and he rubs his eyes.
"Daddy has gone home to sleep. He has a house with his friends honey. Daddy will be here again when you finish school."
Immediately his tears are gone and he smiles a little weak grin at me.
"Really?"
"Yes. Your daddy is not going away again Finley. He will always want to see you. OK?"
He nods and gives me a cuddle. Maybe I should have explained this to Finley before he went to sleep last night. After all, he did go to sleep while Jax was still here. He was bound to think he would still be here when he woke up.
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